I fint The Apprentice a very watchable programme and the behaviour of the participants is fascinating to me. There is a particular dynamic that Sir Alan Sugar creates in his boardroom that makes great telly. He gathers the contestants together at the end of their task and provokes defensive reactions. This is achieved by making provocative statements rather than asking open questions. For example, he may say, "You didn’t think about this at all!" or, "You’re not a very good salesman!"

If you tell someone about themselves by making a statement about them, their knee-jerk reaction will be to defend themselves from direct statement that is likely to be perceived as accusation, confrontation, aggression or a variety of other similarly negative meanings. This is certainly not a productive dynamic for a frank and open discussion. Consider the difference between the following two sentences:

1: "You have been late six times this month!"

2. "I’m wondering if you are aware how many times you have been late this month?"

Option 2 may open the door for a conversation - Option 1 will certainly provoke a defensive reaction. I laughed out loud when, in the semi-final episode of the recent series of The Apprentice, one of the contestants was told (without a hint of irony), "You need to be less defensive."